Entering The Month of Rajab

A few days before the blessed month of Rajab entered, I attended a talk about returning to Allah in Rajab. The shaykh beautifully explained that the door to thoba was open to everyone. It was a wonderful reminder as forgiveness requires one to turn to Allah but also to forgive oneself. Often we are our own greatest enemies and we judge ourselves for our mistakes yet they very same mistakes that may be a means of becoming closer to Allah. And truth be told, we would have so much more compassion for a loved one than we do towards ourselves.

The thing I loved the most about the talk was he explained that thoba did not compensate for healing. The door to repentance was open but trauma would not always disappear because you have repented. Sure, miracles can happen, but as Muslims, we can spiritually bypass them. This leads to more physical manifestations of illness connecting to deep-rooted hidden trauma because we have not dealt with the root cause. This talk was a powerful reminder that there was more than one option. Upon reflection healing itself was an act of worship. The reward behind it would depend on the depth of your intentions but that is a discussion for another day.

So how often do we say what if things were different? Well, they can only be different if we choose to take the path to change things and healing is one of them.  Your illness is within you and so is your cure. The question is are you ready to look within to heal? Looking within does not mean you have to stay there, you look to take the lessons and then use the tools to heal and live a life that is pleasing to you, your fitra and most importantly to your creator.

I recently had a case where my client was convinced that a ‘cardinal sin’ was committed. The truth was that this was a trauma response and one that I could relate to. I knew one could heal from it, as I was a living example of this, but amid the storm, one cannot see a way out.  What is usually happening is that to suppress the unconscious mind from presenting the real issue, the mind and often Shaytaan starts playing tricks. A similar pattern could be found in people who suffer from OCD. In this process, we are lost and spend all focus on our thoughts and thus giving them more energy to control us. It’s a vicious circle we become stuck in. Imam Ghazali is known to have stated that an individual has at least 124000 thoughts a day, now most of these are unconscious and therefore very few we are aware of. For someone with intrusive thoughts, the very few can be overwhelming, and one could be giving energy to the thoughts that do not require focus.

So, what should you do if that is YOU? Firstly, recognise that healing is a journey and often people worry about embarking on this because they have heard it is painful, but just like the caterpillar cannot emerge into the butterfly without the intensity of the cocooning stage, we as humans cannot move forward if we are stuck in its comfort zone. Secondly, walk through your door of healing. I hear daily, I want to heal but I can't because of x y and z. If that is the case, then in ten years you will be having the same conversation. It will be with someone else of course as I only choose to engage in conversations that a transformative and powerful. Being stuck is not a state I am interested and nor should you.

Why not make a list of all the things you are unhappy with and break this down into two columns. Column A is where it is the fault of anyone but you and column two is where you believe you cannot do it. This is a great indication to see if you see your life for you or against you. Start changing the things you feel are in your control and seek help for those you feel you cannot do alone.