Finding God's Mercy in a Broken Family

Khalid Ajmain, Malaysia

The topic, "Finding God's Mercy in a Broken Family," elicited a flood of inquiries—150 in total—ranging from issues of sexual, mental, and emotional abuse within families, friendships, and even within a tarīqah.

Unfortunately, we couldn't address all the questions, but Ḥabīb Kadhīm provided profound wisdom and knowledge on cultivating mental, emotional, and spiritual resilience through Dhikr and Salawat.

The overwhelming number of questions highlights the significant social issues many in our society face, including sexual abuse and narcissistic behavior within families. A considerable number of inquiries concerned dealing with narcissistic parents. Often, society tends to ignore these issues or dismiss the younger generation as weak, labeling them the "strawberry generation." However, these young people frequently contend with challenging family dynamics, including narcissistic parents.

Ḥabīb Kadhīm emphasized the importance of spiritual practices, such as Dhikr and Salawat, to protect oneself from being deeply affected by abuse or adopting abusive behaviors. He also stated that it's acceptable for victims of abuse to cut ties with their abusers, even if they are family members. This step is crucial to prevent victims from harboring feelings of revenge and from continuing to suffer trauma. Unfortunately, this concept is often misunderstood within our Muslim community, where maintaining family ties is highly valued. However, recognizing the necessity to withdraw or cut ties with abusers—be they family or friends—is essential for the victim's well-being.

Many people associate a broken family with severe dysfunctions, such as drug abuse, imprisonment, or alcoholism. However, the reality is that many families experience some degree of brokenness because no family is perfect. Continuous effort and learning are required to address and resolve family problems rather than ignoring them.